5 Reasons Why Katherine Dorselburg Is a Terrible Choice To Play Terrified Metropolis Citizen #3
Today, Zack Snyder announced he had finally cast the role of Terrified Metropolis Citizen #3 for his upcoming film, Batman vs. Superman - and the actress portraying her is none other than Katherine Dorselburg. Naturally, the fan community is in an uproar over whether or not Ms. Dorselburg is right for the crucial role. Frankly, we here at Dorkly think she’s an awful, awful choice, and here’s why.
1. Way Too Skinny
Pictured: Katherine Dorselburg looking the kind of skinny that is required 99% of the time, but not this time.
Everyone knows Terrified Metropolis Citizen #3 is thin - but a lean, muscular thin, not the kind of bony thin that Katherine Dorselburg is and has been expected to be throughout her entire career in Hollywood up to this point and by society at large, which criticizes women for not looking dangerously underweight all the time. Plus, it’s not like she can put on muscle through a training and diet regimen (the way all male actors in superhero and action films do) - since we’ve only seen her at one consistent body type, she definitely 100% is going to have that body type in playing her character, and it will be awful (because how she looks is obviously the most important factor in her portrayal).
2. Not Hot Enough
Pictured: Katherine Dorselburg is pretty hot, but like not in the right way, according to us.
Sure, Katherine Dorselburg is attractive - but is she Terrified Metropolis Citizen #3 attractive? With so many other actresses out there who have facial features similar to how Terrified Metropolis Citizen #3 was drawn in comics, we’re at a loss to understand why director Zack Snyder would choose someone who is good looking but in a slightly different way from the way a character was drawn. “Not Looking Exactly The Way We Imagined Her Looking” is a huge strike against Katherine Dorselburg from the get-go.
3. Hasn’t Proven Her Acting Chops Yet
Pictured: Will Katherine Dorselburg be able to hold her own next to the experienced (male) actors playing Vomiting Metropolis Citizen #8 and Disemboweled Metropolis Paperboy #2?
Although she’s been making movies for several years now, she hasn’t shown off her acting chops nearly as much as some of the others in this production. Will she be able to properly illustrate the terror of watching your city being torn to shreds by Mr. Mxyzptlk? Who knows! With the enormous number of deep, complex roles available to women in Hollywood, how come she keeps choosing roles that only call for her to look pretty and have few character traits beyond acting as the love interest for a more central and 3-dimensional male character?
I mean, c’mon - Hollywood pretty much ONLY makes movies featuring strong female central characters that are not at all dependent on men. How has she managed to find these rare, niche roles of attractive romantic interests?
4. She Talks Weird, Maybe Like With An Accent Or Something
Pictured: Katherine Dorselburg, pausing before opening her mouth and her words coming out all weird-like.
I think she has a weird accent or something. She definitely talks weird, not that we’ve ever paid attention towhat she’s actually saying. The point is: it cannot be reiterated enough that Terrified Metropolis Citizen #3 does NOT have a weird accent.
5. Her Boobs Are Just All Wrong
Pictured: Katherine Dorselburg’s boobs, which are NOT the Double-E’s we were looking for.
Have you seen the way Terrified Metropolis Citizen #3’s boobs are shaped? Katherine Dorselburg’s boobs don’t look anything like those boobs. The boobs aren’t even in the same ballpark. Was no one at DC consulted before the casting of this wrong-boobed actress? It’s almost as if they didn’t care about the boobs at all.
With boobs this incorrect, it’s fair to say she is going to be totally wrong for the part and the movie’s gonna be a disaster and it will be completely her fault.